Sunday, December 14, 2014

A Sunday Post

Life has been changing rather rapidly lately. There have been some changes that have occurred that I was not entirely ready for, or even expecting. Either way, it did not make any difference. We do not always get to choose what happens in life. Family dynamics have begun to shift, which was unexpected. Shocking, really. It is what it is.
Recently an old friend passed away. I was sad, very sad, to hear of his passing. He was someone that I liked a great deal. It was not something that I saw coming. Or maybe I did not want to think that his time Earthbound was limited to such a short period. Godspeed, bud. You will be missed by many. 
With these changes, I cannot help but realize the impermanence of all that life has to offer. Not that it is bad. It is only difficult at times. It also reminds me that I do not have forever. My time, too, is limited. Though it is common sense, it hit me this morning that I can't wait for life to happen. I can't wait for people or situations to change. All I can do is live my life, love those in it, and do my best each day. For those that I waited for, I cannot wait any longer. Maybe you were scared, unsure, or whatever it may have been. I am not going to let that fear rule my world and I cannot have someone by my side that is too afraid to live or take a chance. I need strength in myself and strength in those that are in my life. We are all a little afraid of something. I am scared of certain things or situations, too. I push myself forward anyway. I am not going to let fear or uncertainty make a pussy of me.
In the last year, I have lost many people. Some by choice, some left on their own, and some have gone from this existence into the next phase. Each time it seems like it is getting closer and closer to home. Now, I am not saying that I believe my end is coming, but I do not want to die without having ever really lived. 
I am not entirely sure of what I wanted to even say in writing this post. All I know is that this has all been weighing on my mind and I needed to flush it out. It is Sunday, the holidays are rapidly approaching, and I have this life to live.