Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Attempting to start fresh.

Life has been busy lately. It has been even more busy in my mind, than anywhere else. I turned 25 a month ago. Gabriel is turning 3 in exactly a week. Sometimes I cannot believe that he is already turning 3, but it is amazing. I am truly blessed to have him as my child. He is beautiful, talented, and incredibly smart. He is also very funny and has quite an attitude. Gabriel has an incredible mind and I often say, "where does he learn these things?" This is said at times in both pride and in complete confusion. I am proud of my son and completely in love with him. In the last year, I have started doing work on myself and to make myself and my life better. I know that this will also make Gabriel's life much better. Lately, I have been stuck in my own head. After a conversation that I had today, I realized that I need to just get out of my own way. I only have control over myself and my actions/behaviors in this moment. I am telling myself that right now is where I am living. I need to think less of the past and less of the future.
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Theodore Roosevelt
I have to constantly remind myself.
In the last few days, I have had sadness for things that are or are not there. I have had sadness for family (Tonya, Mitchell, and TaraBell). I have had happiness for my life, my son, my family, and amazing friends. Life can really be a roller coaster. Now it is time for me to let go and just enjoy the ups and downs.

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