Friday, February 11, 2011

Saying Goodbye

Today Gabriel and I are going over to visit Tonya, Mitchell, and TaraBell. We are going to spend our last day with TaraBell. She is moving on in this life and meeting with our loved ones on the other side. My heart hurts knowing that she is leaving, but I know that she is struggling in this life. I have a difficult time explaining these things to Gabriel. He has experienced many major losses in such a short journey in this world. I haven't even begun to explain to him about Tara. I don't know what to say right in this moment and I can't say it without tears.
Gabriel just called me away from the computer to help him with his breakfast. He asked me why I was sad. I told him that today we were going to go see Tonya, Mitchell, and Tara. He said, "But you're sad." I let him know that we were going to see Tara for the last time today because she was going to Heaven. He said, "She's going to die?" He does understand more than I believe sometimes. I told him that she was and that she was going to Heaven. He said that Tara is sick and she's going to Heaven. He asked me if we would still see Tonya and Mitchell. I let him know that we would, he told me not to be sad, and gave me a kiss. He is an amazing child.
Since Gabriel was born, we have said goodbye to two of my grandparents (Mimi and Poppy), his father's grandmother (Grandma Marge), Linda Lee (Grandma Linda), and Grandma Mahle.
He is not a stranger to loss of family and at such a very young age. I am sad that he has lost so many wonderful people. At this age, he is going to have to learn about them through us. However, I am grateful that they were all able to meet Gabriel and to have him be in their lives.
In five days, Gabriel will be turning three. In three days, I will be unemployed. Changes, they are coming.

1 comment:

  1. These things are super sad! I still can't believe how many losses we have had in 3 years. Many people don't even have this many losses in a lifetime! We miss them all, but get happy when thinking about them! Our hearts hurt at times for them, but remember they are happy, looking down upon us, and want us to be happy too!! You are a fantastic Mama, and you are raising a fabulously smart little boy!!